Burritos and Sex

Living in a hot spot for Mexican food, restaurants, people makes for good “dive hunting”. If I want good food, I go to the people who know food… the Mexicans.

Burrito’s Rapidos is a place my friends might call a “hole-in-the-wall”, but to me, it’s burrito heaven. The key to making a good burrito comes down to two things.

1. The cook. He or she must have experience. Cooking rice, beans, chili and meat requires some fine tuned skills.

Once upon a time my favorite dive-restaurant fired their cook. They served up six plates of steaming crap. I taste tested my plate and it was awful. Suddenly I stopped all my friends at the table, tasted their food and walked straight into the kitchen. The cook had lost 150 lbs in less than a week and looked to be about 19 years old instead of 30. That’s all well and good, but the food was awful. We sent everything back to the kitchen, I expressed my sorrow and disappointment that the real cook had left.

2. The sex. That is right, Mexican food should have a certain aspect of sexuality, romance, fire. With the level of passion it takes to prepare ancient foods, a bit of sex chatter is to be expected.

One of my favorite Mexican food establishments is staffed only by ladies with broken English. My favorite!

I love going into this place with my white skin, these sweet ladies never remember me. They always forget that I know Spanish.

Here is what a typical visit sounds like…

Me: Hello, I’d like a burrito with steak, beans, rice and loaded in hot green chili.

Lady: And, something to drink?

Me: Yes, Horchata please.

Then, the ladies proceed to cooking. The kitchen is open air, the half wall is actually a long bar with no stools. Sitting across the restaurant I can hear the hard working women chatter. The ladies sound something like this, in Spanish though…

Did you see that gringo, wow is he hot.

Yes handsome! I could take him home and cook something hot, something we don’t serve here.

You two have no chance, that white boy wants to try my puerco colorado and home made flan right before I show him where the tequila is.

Actually, it gets a lot more sexual than puerco colorado and flan. These ladies talk something like construction workers from the cocina.

When I’m finished eating the burrito, I always tell the ladies how good it was, in Spanish. Their faces turn bright red every time. I hope they never fire the cooks!

So, there you have it. Burritos and sex. Real burritos are served with a side of erotic passion.

I’d like to try the flan…


One thought on “Burritos and Sex

  1. Pingback: Steak and Bacon Burrito: By Jahiem Alston | wccsfoodblog

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